I didn't post yesterday, not because I didn't remember or didn't have time...I just really didn't want to do it. Today, i kind of made myself to post also. I guess I'm just getting tired of posts. Hopefully, my enthusiasm will get back fr marathon 3. I already registered for it, but as of today I have no desire. Ohhh what it is....I think I know....but again I want to escape from admitting it. ohhh I'll think about it tomorrow.

"Задействуйте все четыре уровня"

Ohhh I didn't do much for this assignment today ...and yesterday. Well I went cross country skiing today and yesterday. That was fun! As far as emotionally...umm honestly kind of feeling gloomy. and other levels are also not looking good today.

01:30

10:00

yogurt, pizza, salad, ice-cream

Pants and t-shirt

I watched couple movies 🙂

7

I'm grateful for my family!

I'm grateful for my friends!

I'm grateful for nice cross country skiing time 🙂

Мои цели

I went skiing today!

Nothing

I've read couple articles

Using lasier glasses now

Payed off credit card

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I went to fixed my tooth today, the injection that they got me is way too strong. Makes me want to sleep. I'm going to take a nap now, and hopefully I'll have time to write my post again.

"Задействуйте все четыре уровня"

1.Physical: I took care of my tooth!

2.Emotional

3.Intellectual

4.Spiritual

02:00

09:00

yogurt, meatballs with spaghetti squash, corn bread. ice-cream

Dress

I went to dentist and finally fixed my tooth.

8

I'm grateful for my family!

i'm grateful for my job!

I'm grateful for my Chris

I'm grateful for finally fixing my tooth

Мои цели

Nothing today

I bought myself more brushes!

I've read couple articles

Anti-screen glasses

Nothing

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Ohh well let's say overall my mood is just like outside - gloomy. Well maybe most of it is just the "bloody hell" 🙂 So today our department got moved to another building, and it's our final destination. I got my lovely cubical ...ghhr and windows are nowhere to see. I feel trapped...depressed...and I'm not anywhere close to being motivated to do my job. Instead, I'm constantly thinking...hmm what I would want to do ...where I would want to be...ooohhh

It feels like I'm wasting my life...day by day... definitely bloody hell 🙂

On the other hand, I'm thinking ..well I'm here for a reason...I got this job for a reason...i have so many opportunities to learn a lot of cool stuff. I have no idea if I'll use it later for anything..idk...well some of my projects are pretty cool too 🙂 anyways...i need to get myself together and just do it! Get the max out of it. I know that I'll want to switch my job later.... but later...and now I need to stop freaking out, cause at this moment I don't really have that many options that can substitute my job ...heheh so get it together girl! And do your job well! cause you know it...it feels good to be productive.

"Задействуйте все четыре уровня"

1. Physical: worked out!

2. Emotional: ohh emotionally I'm all messed up today

3. Intellectual: I've read couple articles and posts of other ladies here

4. Spiritual: prayed

02:00

09:00

yogurt, spaghetti squash with meatballs, chocolate, mandarins

Pants

painted

4

I'm grateful for my parents and my sister!

I'm grateful to have my job

I'm grateful that Chris cheered me up

I'm glad that Cerena is available on the day I wanted.

Мои цели

Worked out.

I've done some more doodling 🙂

I've read couple articles and posts here

Anti-screen glasses

Payed my phone

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Today was a very nice day 🙂

"Задействуйте все четыре уровня"

1.

2.

3.

4.

01:30

I fell asleep pretty fast.

08:45

And it was easier to wake up.

Oatmeal with chia seeds, soup, mandarins, chocolate

Pants+sweater, dress at home.

Took time to paint and play piano

7

I'm grateful for may awesome family!

I'm grateful for my job!

I'm grateful I had time to do want I wanted

I'm so thankful that Chris let me rest for a bit during the lunch!and warmed up our lunch!

Мои цели

I stretched a bit

Painted and played piano

I've read couple articles.

Anti-screen glasses

Nothing

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I wasn't able to fall asleep for awhile last night. I'm going to drink some milk before going to bed tonight. Oh it's just aaaaaall possible thoughts that could run through my head did it last night. So I'm tacking it easy tonight 🙂 yeah realxing evening without running around and trying to complete everything on my to do list.

"Задействуйте все четыре уровня"

1. Physical: I worked out today! nothing intensive, I'm still recovering from running nose, but still I got some activity in that department 🙂 Also facial feels good:)

2. Emotional: Um... Not whole lot here

3. Intellectual: I've read couple posts today, plus I watched movie.

4. Spiritual: I prayed for my family and my love. Also, I clean apartment a little today:)

01:30

But I fall asleep only around 3am

09:00

It was a fight in the morning.

Chia seeds+oatmeal, salad + omelet, fruits, peanut butter +jelly sandwich.

Skirt and sweater.

Watched movie, draw a little and cucumber polish facial

7

I'm grateful for my family!

I'm grateful for lunch with Chris!

I'm grateful for my friends!

I'm grateful for my job!

I'm grateful that I was able to reschedule my appointment and still got the refill 🙂

Мои цели

I worked out!!! Feels good. I was low on water today, but eat pretty clean today.

I finally got myself to draw something. For some reason it's kind of hard for me to pick up pencil or brush and start doing something with it.

I cleaned apartment and did what I wanted to do:)

Nothing

Nothing

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I forgot to post last night. So today I'm writing for both today and yesterday.

Yesterday was very lazy day. i woke up when I wanted to 🙂 without alarm. It was pretty late hehe but it felt good! Then I talked to my parents. Oh I miss them so much. Then I talked to my friend. I was so glad that she called me! It was nice to chat with her. Then Chris and I went to a birthday get together. it was kind of a quiet gathering, but still it was nice 🙂

Today Chris and I went to see "Frozen". A Disney cartoon, but I loved it. Fun, beautiful, and with good idea! I liked it a lot. I'm glad Chris liked it too 😀

"Жить для Бога"

I haven't done anything for this assignment. Honestly, this one is not as easy as it seems. I just don't know how I should do it. I'm a bit lost at it right now. So i think I should go back to the previous assignment of praying, and maybe just start with that.

04:00

12:30

Salad, avocado sandwich, chocolate, ice-cream and a little bit of pop-corn

Skirt

Yesterday I did cucumber polish facial, today my nails

9

I'm grateful to God that I have my family!

I'm grateful that I feel a bit better today!

I'm grateful that Chris took me out to see a movie that I picked!

I'm grateful that Chris helped me to cook our breakfast!

I'm grateful for our time with Chris 🙂

Мои цели

Nothing today, but mentally preparing myself for going to gym tomorrow.

I finally got some time to practice piano today! Only for 20 mins, but still better then nothing!

I've read couple interesting articles today. Here is one that I liked http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131218030745-7374576-this-post-will-make-you-a-more-effective-communicator-in-90-seconds

This article points out simple things that most of the time we forget about.

Nothing

Nothing

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I'm so tired right now. Barely made myself to right a post. I'm going to watch a movie now, and then I'm going to bed.

"Жить для Бога"

didn't do anything

01:00

09:00

salad, soup, chocolate, chicken and fruits

dress

watched a movie

7

I'm grateful to be who I am

Мои цели

nothing

nothing

I've read couple posts and articles

nothing

paid off my credit card

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Being sick is not cool 🙁

"Молитва"

I prayed for my superman! and also found couple prays.

01:00

08:45

Subway sandwich, chocolate, chicken soup.

Pants, turtleneck and vest

I've read couple articles about startups. Very interesting 🙂

7

It was a good day. I would say productive 🙂 But being sick adds up not happy vibes

I'm grateful for my awesome family!

I'm grateful for my Chris and lunch with him!

I'm grateful for my work!

Мои цели

Nothing, trying to get better.

Cooking art today:)

Prayed 🙂

Anti-screen glasses

Payed off my credit card.

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Well yesterday was a New Year celebration. I got a bit too crazy last night, ohhh I had to much to drink... so I got too emotional..hmm like crazy emotional....and i said things that I regret about now. My behavior was not the best ohhh man I'm very ashamed of myself. Well I apologized to people that I had to. ohh well I can't do anything else about it now. All I have to do is to lean from my mistakes and move on...well shit happens. So i've decided that I'll do one sober month, since I can't control my limits in alcohol intake. Yes January 2014 will be absolutely sober. And then we'll see, I might roll it over to February:) Yeah I'm actually excited about that.

"Молитва"

I pray pretty much every day. I'll do it today too 🙂

04:00

12:00

Buritto, soup and eggs, ice-cream

Pants and t-shirt

I watched couple movies

5

Last night celebration was giving me a headache all day long!

I'm grateful for my family!

I'm grateful for my friends!

I'm grateful that I have my Chris!

I'm so glad i got home safe! Thank you God for protecting me!

I'm grateful Chris was taking care of me last night and today

Мои цели

Oh nothing

nothing

Chris and I talked today about us. It was nice to discuss all of that.

Nothing

Nothing

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Happy New Year!!!! I'm one of the last ones who will celebrate New Years 🙂

I wish everyone amazing New Year! Lots of love! I hope all your dreams will come true!

So the end of the awesome 2013. A lot happened in the last, let’s see

2013 began in Russia with my family. Celebration of New Year was like I wanted with my family, with traditional food and festive movies on TV. The first night of 2013 was fun, relaxed, and very emotional. Unfortunately, I had to witness the “not thinking” and a bit careless behavior of my sister that made me cry, but it let something amazing happened. My Dad and I had nice talk about a lot of things; the main one was that when we love someone we need to let them make mistakes, even knowing that it might hurt us.

Then it was celebration of my 24th birthday. There were a lot of people that I love and care about. My awesome friends gave me one of the best presents that I’ve ever gotten. But even that holiday of life didn’t happen without crying haha Yes, it couldn’t go without a bit of disappointment. Well a reason was pretty valid -> no present from a beloved boyfriend. Well I got the present later…like weeks later.

Then I traveled to LA for Bachata Festival, where I performed with my team. It was fun and interesting time  After there were a lot of work + dance practicing + not stable relationship with boyfriend + and slowly staring “depression”. Then it was pretty cool vacation to New York with my sister! It was awesome, we’ve experienced a lot from Brooklyn to Harlem 😀 It was a loooot of walking included, goose bumps amazing Broadway Mama Mia Musial, celebrating my sister’s bday with delicious Spanish food and ice-cream walk! Horribly cold visit to Empire State building, free ride to the Statue of Liberty, riding subway to in the middle of Harlem and being the ONLY white person there! Meeting the cool Philochko, btw thank you showing us a small part of New York’s night life. Then of course visiting little Russia in Brooklyn – it was truly awesome! Almost being a part of someone’s bday flash mob! And dancing salsa! Enough said, it was just awesome! 

I came back to Anchorage to work + more dance practicing + same rollercoaster relationship with boyfriend, but now I’m starting to think about breaking up. Then beautiful summer started in Anchorage! I got promotion at work! Honestly, it was absolutely unexpected for me  I was so surprised, but I got it heheh In the end of the summer there were couple more dance performances, but then I decided to take a brake form my hobby. I don’t know if that was a right decision or not, because I’m still not dancing. I hope I can get back to dancing soon! I miss it so much.

Vacation to Hawaii with my boyfriend  Honestly, our relationship was going down so bad! I thought we’ll breakup before we board on the plain. Vacation was still fun, even with couple arguments hehe I did the first time scuba diving! it was nice, I would say even relaxing  then I ate the best stake in my life 😀 kind of reminded me of my Dad’s shashliki 😀 first time jumped off the cliff and climb a waterfall and I ate the best mango EVER!!!!! After our vacation, our relationship changed drastically, well he changed. So now we’re still together. I’m definitely happier with our relationship now  But I have to be honest, I’m still afraid or maybe not sure that this is how it’ll be. I don’t know what it is... but I can’t get reed of that feeling. I guess maybe I just need more time to believe again.

Right after vacation the Marathon 2 started  and I’m so glad to be a part of it. I haven’t accomplished a lot yet, but at least I started. The start was with understanding what is it what I don’t like in my life. I realized well I honestly admitted few things that I tried to not bring up and just pretend like everything is okay. First, even getting a promotion didn’t change my mind; I understand that what I’m doing right now is not something that I would like to do for the rest of my life, plus I’m not the best in it also. Second, I realized that I can be much better friend than I am right now. I also want to be nicer and kinder to myself and others. In fact, I’m not that nice person haha and maybe that’s why it’s kind of hard for me to get along with people, especially with other ladies. Over the last couple years, I kind of got disappointed with people… yeah just people in general. I’m not that excited to meet new people like I used to, and I would say I don’t see a point in it now. So this is what I have been doing lately -> just being antisocial…to be honest….sometimes, I see that someone wants to talk to me… and I start to mumble in my head….”oh no…please not now…don’t talk to me..you ..nice person you..” hahah so I don’t like it, and I want to change it about myself. Because in fact, socializing is what makes me feel good …I know weird, right? Hahah This is one of the reasons why I decided to participate in the Marathon, to figure out how I can come back to a nicer me 😀

Oh also I started learning how to play piano 😀 yeah!

Yea so that sums up my 2013! And looking back, I can say it was a good year full of wonderful moments! Unpleasant surprises! Breathtaking views! Bitter tears! Beautiful feelings! Small disappointments! Priceless experiences! All of it I except and love every moment of it! I think I’m a better me now than I was a year ago  Also, re-reading my small summary makes me be sure that in 2014 I’ll be a better me. I have so many ideas; I just can’t let myself to waste them! I just have to make my dreams to come true! Because I can 😀

In 2014 I want to fall in love with myself, accept myself, have lots of love and kindness in me, and be able to share it with my loved ones, and even be able to share it with others. I want to become a better dancer, piano player, and artist. I want to learn how to knit  I want to learn photography and photo/video editing. I want to visit countries and cities that I’ve never been before. I want to become physically stronger and healthier. I want to continue working on my blog. I want to be more stable financially. Well that was a short planning, I’ll have to do much better planning, but in the end I just want to be a happy me!

"Исполнить свою собственную мечту"

I went through the my 100 wishes list today, and I was able to cross off some of them! But today I didn't do anything specific for that 🙂

02:00

08:55

Coffee, pizza, spinach wrap, dinner

Pants, dress

I took a time to sum up my 2013 🙂

10

I'm grateful to have my family!

I'm grateful to have my friends!

I'm grateful to have my job!

I'm grateful that I got tickets to the party!

I'm grateful for awesome 2013!

Мои цели

Nothing ...still holidays.

I'll try to curl my hair today..it's a tough one 😀

Thinking about my accomplishments in 2013 was pretty cool

Anti-screen glasses

Nothing

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